Have you ever used Yelp as a pre-screener? There’s a great new brunch spot that all of your friends have been raving about, so you pull up yelp to look at food photos and reviews before locking in a reservation. One last bit of reassurance that this is the place you want to take 2 trains across NYC for on a Sunday. The ratings are overall good, the food looks amazing, but as you keep scrolling down, just about to log off your phone, you see it. The one review that changes your mind, the one review that is so bad or inexcusable that you forget everything good you just saw, and read.
Why is it that we believe the bad reviews over the good ones?
As humans our bad reviews stick to us like glue, we remember them, we devour them and we tear them apart. These unfavorable moments stop our internal timestamp in its tracks because no one wants to think that they aren’t good, tough, attractive, smart, quick enough. The bad reviews in our lives lead us to ask WHY?!? Why me, why am I receiving this bad feedback, back review, is this true? No one wants to be put under a magnifying glass. It can be hard to hear unfavoring things because, well… What happens if they’re true?
The one thing that no one thinks about when they do get a bad personal critique, is all of the good reviews from their past that largely override the substandard ones by a landslide. Why is it that we forget who we are in moments that our character or ability is challenged? Every argument has a counter argument. You can’t let the fact that your neighbor hates the music you play on Sundays make you feel like you don’t have taste in music, or the fact that your old boss thought you were too aggressive in your tactical approaches make you feel unworthy of your job. Think about all the kind things you’ve done for the people around you, the work you’ve put in to be the person you are, the hours you’ve put in at the job you’ve strived for.
If everyone thought you were amazing, if you never made any mistakes, then how would you ever learn, or grow? Utilize your bad reviews to better remember the good ones, and possibly check in on the aspects you can build on.
It will all be OK, Oni~