That’s the ticket. To the concert, the baseball game, to your life. The one thing you undeniably believe will make you happy, the answer to all that ails you, the thing that if you accomplish will make you feel whole. I know a lot of people that hold onto the dreams they’ve had since they were 18, or 21, or since they knew what they were destined to do. The problem with that theory is that we grow and change and the things that we wanted when we were 18, or 21, or last week when we were in such a dark place that we ate a whole pizza by ourselves has changed.
Humans hold on to the ideals they create I believe for 2 main reasons. For one, they have been working towards one goal for so long that they are scared to move forward onto something else. I often hear this with friends of mine that come to me for advice, “I don’t want to make less money.” or “I don’t want to start over.” Shit I’ve even said things like this before. But the truth of the matter is that everything you have done up until now has allowed you to move on to something better, has allowed you those experiences you once chose and because of that you will never wonder, never regret. I’ve made a lot of choices in my life that may have left me in a weird or unsure place for a moment in time but ultimately I look back and say “Wow, because of that experience I was able to travel the world.” or “Because of that relationship I learned this.” or “Because of that job I know x, y, and z.” Every time we has humans decide to lean into something uncomfortable or something less than ideal we simply come out more informed, more mature, more experienced… in something.
The second main reason that people hold onto the dream of something unreasonable for whom they may be today is because of the grand search. The search in which humans continue to look for happiness their entire lives, feeling completely unhappy and unfulfilled until they complete or check off all of these grandiose schemes they have for their life. I’ve talked to people who don’t even care for some of the things that they are working so hard towards, but they simply can not let go of the goals they set out for so long ago in fear of missing out on a dream that could cause them ultimate happiness. It’s been proven that people with less choices, less spread out attentions are happier and can be more successful on one thing they intimately care about vs. several things they don’t.
The problem with this is that having goals fulfilled is not the ultimate satisfaction of happiness; you should be happy within yourself and your experiences up until you achieve some or all of your dreams whether they are relevant to you now or not. And doesn’t it make more sense to achieve dreams that are important to you now? Isn’t that why life is wonderful because of the experiences and the ability to try and do so many different things?
So stop wondering if you will be happy if you become the next Mario Lopez. You won’t. You don’t have the hair to pull it off. Just do the things that create fire in your fucking soul.