Doing things that make you uncomfortable.

Live from the airplane seat that I am currently resident of, 3 hours of sleep and dark circles as deep and dim as caverns(I’m assuming all typos will naturally be excused on this one):

It dawned on me as I woke up this morning that certain things were not as unapproachable, or impossible as I once thought. I consider myself to be a fearless person, although some fear of course exists because otherwise I’d just be a psycho… AND you need a little fear to drive and push you forward.

Yesterday I went to my first writing conference, this was the first time as an apparel design director that I faced the world as something other than a design creative. It was scary. Who do I think I am telling other humans I’m a writer and talking about the book I wrote. But the truth is this is something I’ve been working towards for a long time, and even though I was out of my element and didn’t know what the fuck I was doing I pushed forward. The uncomfortable within newness, within the unexpected, within the unfamiliar comes to us because we don’t know what the outcome will be. Crash or burn? Success? Death?!

But that’s just it, openness. It does just that, it allows things to come in, some of those things may even be goals you have been chasing for a long time. So I was open, ignored my beating heart, put on a smile and shook 8 different hands pitching my book concept to agents while holding an iPad flagging a posed photo of myself on a mocked up book jacket. (Who the fuck did I think I was!? I kept thinking) But past the discomfort, the twitchiness that comes with the unknown I was gaining inside information, invitations, and even some yes’s to my book. I gained valuable information that I need to move forward on this journey that I would have never known if I hadn’t pushed forward beyond the fear and been open.

In conclusion, don’t judge this post on grammar alone because I am basically sleep walking.(thanks) And remember to be open, like a wide fucking door.

Forward, always forward.

x Oni

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