How dare you show me your shoulder.

If anyone has been watching The Handmaids Tale as of late and shitting themselves because it feels slightly too close for comfort, well, hold on to your control-top panties ladies I’ve got a doozy for ya. It seems that along with other several matters of women’s rights that are threaten more severely these days (insert “fuck me” into google, or possible “I’m a woman help!”) we now have to be worried about offending men with our shoulders.  I personally never knew a shoulder that was offensive, but apparently one can now cross-contaminate the male sex with said shoulder simply by baring the round flesh freeing object in a mans face before providing his willy with wood.  How dare we be so attractive with our erotic and pervasive shoulders.

There is no definitive rule stating that women can not wear sleeveless apparel in Congress, in the presence of or in formal meetings, however and more vaguely might I add it IS stated as the following: “Members should periodically rededicate themselves to the core principles of proper parliamentary practice that are so essential to maintaining order and deliberacy here in the House. Members should wear appropriate business attire during all sittings of the House however brief their appearance on the floor may be.”

So a couple weeks ago when a female reporter was shunned away as the harlot she is for wearing bare shoulders it was purely based on the power of interpretation and control. What constitutes “appropriate attire” is determined by the House Speaker, Republican Congressman Paul Ryan, who apparently thinks that a sleeveless dress in 95% humidity is inappropriate.  Here is the problem with that, just as Aristotle once stated “Law is reason free from passion.” the same goes for the humans that represent us aside of the law.  We can not be bothered in the ways of peoples personal emotions in the work place.  Not about break-ups, break-downs, and certainly not about shoulders.  It seems in this day and age the formalities of casual affairs are biding time against the grander issues that we should be concerning ourselves with.  Health care, human rights, abortion, global warming, public school systems, I could go on and on and on. Casual attire should not be determined by the emotional response (aka passion) of one human; if a rule is going to be made a rule make it formal.  Aside from that, what is this 1912?  Power is being pushed around simply because it can be and it’s full sexist bullshit.  Also it’s fucking hot, I don’t want to sweat on my silk Prada am I right?!

Just in case anyone forgot just how professional and chic a woman can be with sleeveless arms here is a photo montage of Michelle Obama:

That was nice.

Men in D.C. are now seen wearing pink “ties of shame” around their wide corridors of lawful practice in defense of their female counterparts. That’s nice and all but I personally would like to trade in all the pink ties, pussy hats and Nasty Women tee shirts for some civil rights please Alex. I’d like to live in a world where shoulders are not taboo, Planned Parent Hood continues to give free cancer checks and Paul Ryan can stuff it.  So, in honor of women’s shoulders everywhere here are some super flattering photos of Paul Ryan who may want to be kinder towards the opposite sex because this isn’t The Handmaids Tale.

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